Eww Gossip

KISS' Gene Simmons Said He Would Totally Make Love To LINKIN PARK's Chester Bennington (In Prison)

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Gene Simmons is a character. Whether he's hocking KISS coffins, urns or trying to be your accountant, the guy has quite the lifestyle he leads.

While we don't usually post about Linkin Park, a recent interview with Chester Bennington was so strange, we had to write about it. The topic of meeting Gene Simmons came up and Bennington revealed this story:  (more…)

Lists

Exploring 25 Heavy Metal Stage Name Origins

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I've always found the practice of naming such a strange and fascinating concept. Today more than ever we put such a huge importance on finding the right name for things be it a nick name, stage name, band name, or even a profile user name. I'm sure at some point in your life you've even thought about changing your own birth name to something cooler.

I started wondering about all the names in metal history we've come to know and love, who they started out as, and more importantly how their new names came to be. After several nights of research I was legitimately shocked to learn how many names in metal aren't birth names at all, this list barely even scratches the surface. But for the sake of keeping things interesting, I included only the names that had a back story I can write about.

In this piece, we will reveal the real identies of, and navigate the origins of Alice Cooper, King Diamond, Avengened Sevenfold, Korn, Iron Maiden, Ozzy Osbourne, KISS, Nergal of Behemoth, Cronos of Venom and many more. (more…)

A/V

When KISS Interviews Go Wrong

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Gene Simmons took a break from trying to sell you life insurance to release a new album with his band, KISS. They are on a world-wind promo tour to hype their new CD, Monster, which I'm sure will do good numbers in record sales, because they have been everywhere this week. The band was on Letterman, had a huge town hall at SiriusXM, and did a nationwide promo tour. I guess somebody didn't do their homework, because things went sour.

Paul Stanley and permanent fill-in Tommy Thayer were on Houston's "Walton & Johnson" (oy!) and it seemed like the radio jocks barely knew who the band was. Clearly, they were not prepped… it was the equivalent of when your mother is on the phone with various in-laws and just randomly hands you the phone to talk to them, only for you to later find out it was their birthday. The results are pretty funny, take a listen… (more…)

Sick Art

The 39 Best Worst Metal Tattoos In History

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There is no doubt that band tattoos are the ultimate sign of appreciation and loyalty for your favorite artists, it's like a band T-shirt you can't get off. I also have no doubt that metal heads are some of the most passionate group of music enthusiasts out there, so it came as no surprise that I could find thousands of band tats out there ranging from a tiny mark to a full sleeve. The only problem with this awesome combination is tattoo artists in the world are much like the bands themselves, some are good, some are simply amazing, and others… well here is a list of some of the others guys. (more…)

Around the Interwebs

PETER CRISS Medley: This Five Year Old Kills It

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Following swiftly on the heels of the 8-year old getting her straight edge on, we have a FIVE-year old convincingly knocking out a Peter Criss drum medley.  Making this even better, Avery Molek – said five-year old – already has his own website up, though Gene Simmons would be disheartened to find that there's no merch for sale there. Which is a good point: I mean, how long does it take to silk screen a few bibs, anyway? (more…)

Bands and Booze It's Just Business

The New Way For Bands To Make Money: Put Their Brand on Booze!

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Bands can't make a living off record sales anymore. That seems to be a forgone conclusion. So, now these bands and their representation are looking for new avenues to license the band's music, and likeness for profit. KISS built an empire on this! So it comes as no surprise that bands are getting into the booze market. Metal and alcohol go hand in hand, and now they will clash! KISS and Motorhead both announced intentions this week to start selling branded wine. (more…)

Bummer Alert

Sebastian Bach laments the loss of his KISS Pinball Machine

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All eyes were on the east coast this past weekend as Hurricane Irene tore up city after city leaving many without power, and in many cases causing massive destruction to homes. One such unfortunate soul was none other than Sebastian Bach (former Skid Row vocalist) who lost his home of 21 years to flooding. (more…)

Eww Marketing Genius

Don't Worry, KISS Make Urns Now

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…and why wouldn't they? They've been making KISS coffins for years, and with the newly introduced condoms, this was obviously the next product to slap the KISS branding on. Oh, and the price? Only $650! That's practically free, considering the caskets cost upwards of $3500.

Around the Interwebs

Gene Simmons Wants His Face On Your Dick

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We already know Gene Simmons is a douche, but now he wants his face on a whole other line of sanitary products: KISS KONDOMS. Yes that's right! The man born Chaim Witz, never one to turn down a product with his name on it, can lay clam to have the first condom with a print on the latex. How exciting. Can you imagine how turned on a girl will be when you whip one of these out? No word on an official release date.

Editorials

How important is it to go out on top?

By Ben Apatoff

Any metalhead with a computer knows by now that JUDAS PRIEST are planning their final tour. Of course these things are always dubious (although Priest seem more sincere than KISS,) and I expected to see a lot of arguing over whether or not HALFORD and the gang were actually putting the band to rest.

But all anyone seems to care about is "going out on top." As in, "It's a good thing that Priest are retiring at a point when they're still playing great shows and releasing good music." Or, "It's a good thing that Priest are retiring in time to stop embarrassing themselves."

So are the Metal Gods going out on top or not? Clearly, there's only one correct answer. (more…)

Around the Interwebs

A Couple of Douches

Finally! I get to use my favorite word in the English language: douches. And it cannot be any more fitting than these two. This may just be the douchiest photo in existence:

The photo was taken in Limp Bizkit's current recording studio. Fred Durst ever so kindly even put up a song sample. If you feel like losing your lunch, here it is: (more…)

A/V

Required Viewing For Any Metalhead: The Decline of Western Civilization II

It may be Memorial Day weekend but that's no excuse to actually go outside and do stuff. Especially when some brave soul uploaded the entire 1988 documentary, The Decline of Western Civilization II: The Metal Years. This was of course shot when metal was the biggest thing ever. It's awesome to see all the big hair, all the clueless fans who really went nowhere. While there may be a bit too much focus on glam for my tastes (which was reflective of the time) there are still a ton of great names that appear like OZZY OSBOURNE, KISS, LEMMY from MOTORHEAD, ALICE COOPER, MEGADETH and more. Seriously, this is a must-view for any metalhead, so grab some popcorn, smoke a j and enjoy…

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=4689920637100527225
Go See This Fucking Band

THE MELVINS show everyone else how to play an album in its entirety

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The increasingly popular trend of bands playing an album in its entirety can be an awesome way to hear their best songs, a confirmation of the band's current irrelevance or both. Ever the iconoclasts, THE MELVINS' recent performance of 1993's Houdini at Webster Hall was neither, and it set a high standard for every band that does this from now on. (more…)

Metal Up Your Ass

METAL UP YOUR ASS: Thirsty Thursday

What the fuck is a free country if a person can't fornicate with an inanimate object in peace?! Doesn't Michigan realize that he could have done something way worse, like get laid off and then get laid and slayed by some idiot who just gave Cannibal Corpse fans a bad name. But hey, life in the States could be worse. At least you won't find any of these in America. And, your day will get even better if you spend the rest of it reading all these links and avoid Thirsty Thursday.


TOUR RECAPS

Mikael Akerfeldt "NEEDS" an album called Menu. Help him out, fuckers.

Deathcore dudes can't wait to tour with Aborted.

Kreator wants to thank everyone who saw them on their European tour for celebrating violence with them


REUNIONS AND COMEBACKS

Award winners plan on staying together

I couldn't believe it. But, its totally true. maudlin of the Well (and Kayo Dot too) returns thanks to their fans

America's biggest freak is bringing a circus to London

Check out Daath in front of a green screen

Tom Araya says expect the new album to be like, uh, Slayer. For now, those thrash dudes will be releasing a 7" vinyl on Record Store Day

I know a reporter in Atlantic City that either just pissed, came or did both on himself because KISS is back.

Is this tour title a joke?


ALL ABOUT SHOWS

Even if you live in the middle of nowhere, you still might be able to see God Forbid

Some tool will be on tour again soon.

Seventeen people were arrested at a metal show in PA. That's it?!

A metal dude reviews a moshcore show for what it really is

Samael are craving to play their new songs

If you life in Seattle and <3 grind, go see Pig Destroyer

Propaghandi added more tour dates

Nobody in Detroit likes Metallica after their SXSW stunt. And, the world will like them even less after bringing back Newsted.


AIRWAVES

A "Dramatic Roar" captivates on VH1

Once again metal's tolerable creep teaches an interesting lesson on something, well, metal

Next Rotten Sound album will focus on the meaning of stupidity


OTHER NEWS

Another magazine bit the dust