In anticipation of WWE WrestleMania this weekend, the fine folks at Metal Hammer have put together a great list of the Top 10 Most Metal Wrestlers Ever, and it's a pretty sweet list featuring everyone you would expect: The Undertaker, "Stone Cold" Steve Austin, Legion of Doom, CM Punk, Chris Jericho, Demolition, Kane, The Sandman, Cactus Jack and inexplicably, The Demon. I figured, I'd counteract that list with my list of the 10 worst metal-related wrestlers of all time:
1) The Undertaker (American Badass Era)
The Undertaker is unquestionably the most metal wrestler ever, but even he had an embarassing period. You see, in 2000, he returned after being injured, but not in his goth attire, rather, as a straight up biker, coming out first to Kid Rock's "American Badass" and culminating at WrestleMania 19, by having Limp Bizkit sing him into the arena. Eww, let's just try to forget this.
2) "Heavy Metal" Van Hammer
There was nothing heavy metal about Van Hammer. He was just a tall guy who was in-shape but had no wrestling or talking ability. He just had "the look." WCW was notorious for giving guys characters (known as "gimmicks") that were just a slapping together of words. "Hey, Van Halen is big, this guy looks like Sammy Hagar is big… let's call this guy Van Hammer." That's probably how that creative meeting went.
3) The KISS Demon
I know what you're saying. But the Demon was on Metal Hammer's list. Well, I'm saying MH got this one wrong. This was a colossal failure. Then WCW president, Eric Bischoff worked out a deal with KISS to debut a wrestling alter-ego for each member of KISS. The problem? When they unveiled the first character, The Demon (above), the segment was the lowest rated segment ever in WCW Nitro histroy. And they paid millions of dollars for the licensing of the KISS characters. Needless to say, the Demon was quickly phased out and that was one of many losses that lead to WCW losing over $80 million that year.
4) The Headbangers
The Headbangers were always sort of portrayed as dorks, but they did hate the Insane Clown Posse, so this one was a toughie.
5) Man Mountain Rock
Holy crap was this awful. Maxx Payne showed up to the WWF with a guitar, was slapped with a terrible gimmick and then was fired a few weeks later. Man Mountain Rock? No thank you!
6) Gangrel
He did have a great entrance. Too bad he was a crappy wrestler.
7) The Misfits
The Misfits were a great band, but Jerry Only is a terrible wrestler. The above match is the perfect example. Only gets destroyed. He should not be in the ring. Poor Doyle, standing at ringside thinking "what the hell am I doing here?"
8) Disciples of the Apocalypse
Take twin bikers, add a fake Undertaker and create a turf war with a Puerto Rican gang and you have the assembly known as DOA. Not one good wrestler amongst them.
9) Powers of Pain
You'd think two guys named "Warlord" and "Barbarian" would be awesome, but turns out not so much. These guys were a third rate Road Warriors/Legion of Doom ripoff (with Demolition being a far more superior rip).
10) "The One Man Rock Band" Heath Slater
You suck, Heath Slater!
