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Time & Space, Bro

Time & Space, Bro #3: Reality is a Digital Starbucks Card

Another new column from the frontman of Nekrogoblikon

Another new column from the frontman of Nekrogoblikon

Modernity: Drab, innocuous, limp, saltless and thoroughly unexciting. Cookie-cutter people held in pseudo-voluntary bondage by individuality-robbing grey devices (with about as much charisma as a particularly uncharismatic pile of dead skunks). And no, there’s nothing you can do to make something that enables anyone to nag me whenever they want cool. The current incarnation of digital life is about as exciting and personality-filled as a virtual Starbucks card…

"But Scorpion! Don’t be silly- it’s all up to you- do what you want with your life! You don’t NEED these frivolous devices or countless online vanity profiles!” (brought to you by Time & Space, Bro)

Every six months or so when I’m feeling particularly unemployed, I’ll take a look at LinkedIn. Kind of because it’s fun to snoop, kind of because it reminds me of days gone by. I’ve noticed that a lot of my old classmates who used to be jobless are now employed. Hooray!

But more often than not, it seems that the aforementioned acquaintances are employed by one of the seemingly infinite tech startups that comprise the myriad of lackluster life-options available to the common man today.

Maybe it’s just because I’m from Silicon Valley, but it really seems like about 75% of my old classmates are doing that.

Okay, on the one hand, it’s good that people have jobs. On the other hand, it’s complete vaporware.

How do people see this as anything but an aftershock/mirror of the dot-com collapse of the late 90’s? They’re all being paid in venture capital to work on products that have seemingly no way to actually generate revenue. Guess what… that’s what caused the dot-com crash. Tons of buzz, tons of venture capital, little to no actual product. Snapchat, for example. What the literal fuck? If they’re not selling all your usage stats and other “personal data” to advertisers and other e-creeps, then I’ll be a god-damned monkey’s uncle. If you’re cool with your info being out there like that- fine by me (but I’ll stick to Wickr).

It wouldn’t bug me at all if these things were explicitly stated in an upfront manner, but the fact is that the marketing department is there to mislead the consumer and lure them into handing out information, which the companies then sell. It’s a shady, and in my opinion unsustainable practice.

Enough of that rant- Scorpion got some good news yesterday. Nekrogoblikon has been invited to play on the 70,000 Tons of Metal cruise. It’s four days of metal on a cruise ship, from Miami to Mexico. We leave Sunday! It’s been a dream of mine since 2010, and I send eternal thanks to the Great Scorpion for granting us this blessing. Promptly after that, we leave for the U.K., to play 11 insane  (sold out) shows with Baby Godzilla, Crossfaith, and Limp Bizkit. I can’t wait- come say hi at the merch booth after the show if you happen to be one of the lucky attendees.

As always- you can’t handle Scorpion, and

time & space bro,
SCORPION OUT.

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