About a year ago I found an article in Vice where writer Chris Nieratko wrote about his favorite unpublished interview ever, where he interviewed our favorite Satan-worshiper, Nergal from Polish black metal band BEHEMOTH, with all the questions being setups for stereotypical Polish jokes, which seemingly went over Nergal's head. With the hipster publication celebrating it's 15th anniversary, said writer decided to publish the raw interview, and well, here take a look: (more…)

Heavy Metal Pumpkin Carvings – Click Here For More

Well, it's almost Halloween, so we thought we would revive a post from last year, showcasing some of the most br00tal pumpkin carvings on the interwebs. If you missed it last year, click here to check it out.

No idea who originally made it but "Grim" Kim Kelly sent it to me.

Above is the flier for the New Jersey Metalfest happening this weekend. How many logos can you make out?

I'd like to start this post with an apology. Because you will get either pissed off or annoyed. The post-ironic scene blog, Stuff You Will Hate posted an incredible video (embedded below) of some dumb scene whore teaching you how to make your profile "more scene". In fact there are a shitload of tutorials on how to "be more scene".

It's fucking absurd. Here is the best/worst quote from this whole car wreck:

The stereotypical modern scene MySpace name usually involves your first name, a second name involving fashion, gore, or music some sort of symbol, hearts or raunched out name is best (Callie Collision, Kristallion, DebraDeath, or Trashley for example).

In conclusion, remember, knowing a little CSS is totally scene! For more observations about this atrocity, visit the Stuff You Will Hate blog.

Yay, Halloween! It's the most metal day of the year. Leave it to Wal-Mart to make it all a little more fun. Now your child can look like a reject out of a Marilyn Manson video by wearing one of these Wal-Mart Halloween costumes. There is the Cryptic Rocker, who looks like what Slash will be in his 60s, then there is Metal Mayhem Child, who looks like what somebody who just looked up black metal on Wikipedia would look like, and finally Death Rider, which has such a pleasant ring to it. Or, if you don't want to do the whole get-up, they are also selling fake axe-guitars. Ultimately, I guess its's a cheap solution for your kid to look kvlt while trick or treating. And, ultimately, better this than dressing like a Jonas Brother. I mean, uhh, what's a Jonas brother?

[ Thanks to MetalSucks for tipping me off to this atrocity ]

I was paroosing AbsolutePunk's list of Best/Worst Merch at Warped 2009 and they rightfully awarded the above shirt by hardcore label Bridge 9 Records the title of Best Shirt of Warped '09. Don't get me wrong, sometimes a neon shirt can look cool, but lately with all this ironic crabcore infesting the Hot Topics of America, there have been some pretty shitty shirts. And, 90% of the time, if a band has a neon shirt, chances are they suck. So, we salute you Bridge 9, for saying what needed to be said!

Everybody can agree that Google is all knowing and all powerful. Now, with the advent of auto-suggest we can see what Google thinks of some of our favorite (and least favorite) metal bands and personalities. I was a little bored so I did some typing and captured some screen shots. All of these have not been altered at all and are 100% real!

Hmm, guess Googs thinks Ozzy should retire too!

Ha! It seems everybody agrees!

Some more Google opinions on metal (including a very accurate portrayal of Lars) after the jump. (more…)

Metal is definitely creeping into the mainstream. What other explanation could there be for this product, black toilet paper. Ok, probably not but still this is fucking hilarious. And, so is the description:

Renova Colors are comprised of soft, elegant 3-ply, fragrance bath tissue paper that has been tested under dermatological and gynecological control. It is a biodegradable, non-toxic, soothing tissue and does not bleed any color when wet.

But all you forest dwellers beware, this will set you back 14 bucks. You know what they say… kvltin' aint easy.

[ via Metalsucks ]

Talk about brilliance! One UK shop, The Guitar Store completely fucking nailed it! Best storefront EVER! And, as an added bonus, those nobs go to 11! What more is there to say?

[ Flickr via Digg ]

The fine people at Decibel Magazine have gone Photoshop crazy, recently posting a blog asking: What if metal bands were beers? Comedy ensues. Head over there to check out some punny takes on Bison AD, A Life Once Lost and King Diamond.