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Dank Slams

DANK SLAMS: Full Stream Of New COLPOCLEISIS Album Proves They Have Nothing In Common With NICKELBACK

Posted by on September 7, 2017 at 5:16 pm

Slam. The black sheep of the metal family. Slam. The ugly, buck-toothed stepchild of the metal family. Slam. The weird-ass, lazy-eyed, pervy uncle who pays far too much attention to the kids at the family reunion. Slam. The quiet, nerdy, Pokemon-sweatered kid who gets his ass beat on the playground every lunch hour. We who ingest this shit with a rapacious appetite know that we are a marginalized group – hence the reason the slam community is tighter than your cousin Sally's… well… you know.

Unfortunately, slam is the sub-genre everyone loves to hate – just like Nickelback is the band everyone loves to hate. Why slam? Why Nickelback? Why such hate from our metal brethren? There is a simple, logical answer to this. It would seem – like Nickelback – slam is just not taken very seriously.

So, how does one overcome such stigma? How do we change the perception of this music being juvenile… uncouth even? Simple, really. Those who make this shit need to start taking their craft a little more seriously, and perhaps tone it down with this 'we are so underground' mentality. We need more bands – and personalities within those bands – to step up and bring some much-needed legitimacy to our beloved brutality.

Like the early days of death metal, where bands with gore-soaked names and imagery were laughed off into their little corner of the underground, we desperately need that one band brave enough to fight back against the ignorant and elitist attitudes that are prevalent in metal. Back in the formative years, the mighty CANNIBAL CORPSE was that band – that gateway drug for metalheads who weren't too sure about the extremity of death metal.

So, who is slam's answer to Cannibal Corpse? Straight outta merrie olde England comes, perhaps, an answer…

The above-foursome of handsome, neck-bearded fellas are collectively referred to as COLPOCLEISIS (image search the name for a NSFW explanation as to their chosen moniker… go ahead… we dare you). Formed in 2015 by members of various bands around the Liverpool metal scene, Colpocleisis set out to create the heaviest 'caveman' slam in the UK. Influenced by the likes of Cerebral Incubation and Cephalotripsy, with their heavy hitting approach to song composition, the guys wanted to deliver skull-crushingly-heavy riffs that could collapse buildings… worlds even!

After many shows around the UK, the band have gained quite a bit of attention, in a very short period. A short European run in 2016 and a well received Promo CD, the band signed up with Russian label Inherited Suffering Records for the sophomore release of new album Fallopian Fallout, which is set to hit later this month…

So, what do these guys do differently than your average, run-of-the-mill slam band? Well, first and foremost, they present their shit in top-notch, pro-league fashion. Everything from the recording, art, press package, and attitude are delivered with first-class brutality. In fact, this is something the band takes some pride in, as guitarist, Joe Mortimer, points out below…

"Music, for most, is a hobby. People who fish, collect stamps or go sky diving pay a fortune for their hobby – for the enjoyment and joy it brings them. Too many people in brutal death metal have a sense of entitlement and expect the world because they feel successful at what they do. For me, success is how good your output makes you feel and the positive impact it has on others is a huge bonus. And, by maintaining some strange attachment to be superground is like only catching tiny skinny fish, tatty stamps and diving from the same height repeatedly, to continue the above metaphor."

At the end of the day, all that really matters is the music. On that note, we are incredibly stoked to be bringing you the full-album stream of Fallopian Fallout (once again made possible by our friends over at Slam Worldwide). Assemble your slam-hating metal brothers and sisters and, with the roar of a slam-fuelled lion, espouse the virtues of our beloved slam! Stand proud. Stand tall. Slam!

While you are at it, head to the band's official Bandcamp page to pre-order your copy today.

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