DEVIN TOWNSEND Recalls His First Prostate Exam, As One Does
Back in March, Devin Townsend told the world about the time he quite literally shoved Jay Leno's phone up his ass. Now it's August and Townsend is back with another butt story, though this time it doesn't involve phones.
Instead, Townsend tells the tale of his first prostate exam. It's been transcribed below, but you really ought to watch him telling the story on uDiscover at the bottom of the post. There's just something about his voice and inflection that makes it way, way funnier.
"The first time I went to a prostate exam, it was a lady doctor, and I felt really insecure about it because I don't want her to stick her finger up my bum. But then she said, 'Have you ever had a prostate exam?' I was like 'No.' And within 30 seconds I was bent over the stool and she had a finger up my bum.
"It was all OK, there was no problem. And she said [I peed a lot] because I'm high strung, which is probably hard to believe. But that is why your bladder is just. 'Holy fuck, what's going on?!' And then you just pee a lot.
"We've all had fingers up our butt. A friend of mine had a candle up his bum! It was a fetish or something, I don't know. Seems weird tho. But I guess it's because it's tapered."
[via Ultimate Guitar]